well seeing as i havent updated yous guys in a while here i figured i would fill you in a bit
college is going ok for the most part, i mean its CCS and all but i thought it would be a little easier than this, but if i can get throuhg 10x10 week in powerlifting im sure i can get through college, although sometimes i feel like im not good enough to be there...but im sure everyone gets that sometimes, still if the grading curve dosent get me i think the finances will.....shits expensive man... ITS LOANS IL PAY BACK!.......eventually......maybe....
im going to be posting all of my school projects i can, at times in CCS you can post certain things on the internet apparently especially in entertainment art what with all the animations and such, but il do it anyway...>_<
and im sure you guys have figured this one out by now but i dont have much time for personal works much these days....il try and post anything i draw for myself but most of my time is schoolwork now, seeing as CCS has then highest homework load out of any art school in the country.....dear god what have i gotten myself into.....

as for my family my sister moved out, and im hopefully going to follow suit as soon as i find a job.....and my mother still needs care and such but i don't mid doing that


OH and i see i hit 8,000 pageveiws! im so happy that you guys still look at my artwork even though im not posting as much as i used to il be sure to tahnk you guys properly with a celebratory image or whatever the hell we do here.....lol il prolly feature some of you guys in my next journal or this one once i find some time >_<

alrighty.....well i have never really been one to set goals for myself.... but due to a series of odd events and some deep thinking about videogames....and how absolutely astounding some of them are i have come to a realization.....yes...i have characters....but there is a problem.....none of them have ever really felt....established..if you get my meaning?......specifically i was thinking about the dialogue in the opening of kingdom hearts...the shot angles...everything about the scene were sora says "iv been thinking...is any of this even real?"....i know i know im a dork and a nerd and whatever.....but my creative visualization class has really taught me to look at things alot more closely than i usually do....i mean i overanalyze games ALOT!...but i never thought i could understand it all this well
more to the point...we were given an assignment in which we had to make a character sheet, awesome right? i know....and im making three just for the hell of it, but it got me thinking alot about my characters and just how much work i really need to put into them.......so i've decided to take nomad, the only character i have with an actual complete story...and rework him, put him in some kind of storyline comic so people can at least get an idea of how this shit all begins, and draw him.....ALOT....over and over and over...until i can draw him in any possible pose and in any possible way, and i wont stop until im satisfied.....


that is all....

so yes college has begun for me, about a month ago really, its certainly a love hate relationship here.....i love my creative visualization class with the one and only scott bogonowski <---- (famous around campus) we get to watch movies and make storyboards for 6 hours but its so damn fun it feels alot shorter, but then there is my drawing 1 class.......i dont think i would ever say.."fuck i have to go to drawing class"....but i do say that because its nothing but fucking boxes,teaching perspective,and drawing still lifes....... everything i covered six times in high school pretty much.....as for my other classes they're not too awesome but they're not annoying either.... but i guess moving slower is better than moving too fast.....i just hope i get to do something creative soon......>_<


on another note my 18th birthday came and past on the 17th
it wasn't really a happy day....i think im to that point now were birthdays stop being fun....they are more of a reminder of what i haven't done....but hey i can buy porn and cigarettes now and go to boobie bars so thats cool i guess lol

well im going off to college on tuesday....what fun....im sure you know were this is going...

i went to orientation yesterday, it was 8:30 in the morning and all the juniors and seniors were faaar too happy about it, he were forced to make gay nametags and sit and listen to nonsensical garbage for the first 6 hours almost non of which applied to me seeing as i am one of 12 commuters, i had to take a tour of the campus for a second time which was rather annoying
and were were introdouced to out school mascot "wotson the screaming peacock" i know its an art school.....but come on....really? i suppose our fake football hoodies and stuff are kind of funny though

the thing that bothered me about the whole experience was.....i couldn't help but feel that i dident belong there....everyone else looked rich and was living on campus...not to mention we really cant afford this right now but my mother keeps insisting... i also dont really feel im good enough as an artist to be there....
i mean college is really all i have left....i cant do anything besides draw....and if i fuck this up....im done...its over...
so the fact that they kept telling us to manage our time right and not to get crazy over the workload and the five free counseling offices that they have......dosent really help my stress much...

at least the entertainment arts department heads seem like nice guys.....

oh and also the hour and a half drive there at 6 in the morning for 4 days out of the week is gunna be just awesome....


lets hope CCS dosent kill me.....

if you got that reference you and me like the same candy

anyway... sufficed to say im back on the horse....so to speak... my artists block is clearing up for the most part and im working on bettering myself for college which is merley a month away
im excited /terrified but at the very least im going to learn SOMETHING so it wont be a waste of time if things fall apart

in personal news im in a much improved mood since the last few weeks
im still lonely as hell though but whatever....il fix that when i can...

still thanx for all your guys support i dont think i could have gotten this far without ya